Ability + Willingness: The Two Factors That Predict Change

ability-willingness model
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Why do some people change and others stay stuck? 

It’s not luck or accident. It’s intentional and focused. It requires both ability and willingness. Without one, the other won’t get you very far.

It’s important for me to help my clients make good bets. We can’t be absolutely certain of the future, but we can make good guesses. We make better guesses when we know how to read the data. In our case, the “data” is human. 

The Ability–Willingness Model shows that real change is a combination of two essential factors:

• Ability — Do you know how to change? Do you understand what’s required? This is about knowledge, skills, and clarity. For example, if someone wants a healthier relationship, they need tools like communication skills, conflict resolution strategies, and an understanding of boundaries. Ability answers if someone has the information (“the how”) they need to change.

• Willingness — Do you want to change? Are you motivated enough to put in the effort? This is about desire, openness, and commitment. A person may know about tools to use or they may know other perspectives exist outside of their own, but if they’re unwilling to use the information to make a meaningful change, nothing shifts. Willingness answers if someone has the motivation (“the why”) to change.

When both are present, change becomes possible and sustainable. But here’s where people get stuck:

1. Willing but unable.
   This is the person who wants a better life but doesn’t have the knowledge or tools. They try, but frustration sets in because they lack direction.

2. Able but unwilling.
   This is the person who has the skills, insight, and even resources — but no genuine desire. They stay stagnant because motivation is missing.

3. Neither able nor willing.
   This is the most unfortunate. Without knowledge and without desire, the person resists growth and may even deny change is needed.

Here’s where change happens:

Able and willing.
The sweet spot. The person knows how and truly wants to. Growth becomes not only possible but likely.

The takeaway: Whenever you’re pursuing growth — whether in yourself or in your relationships — check both sides of the model. Ask: Do I have the knowledge and skills? Do I have the desire and motivation? If either side is lacking, start filling that gap.

Change is never just about willpower, and it’s never just about knowledge. Real transformation happens when ability and willingness work together.

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Interpretations for each quadrant:

1. Stuck: Low Ability + Low Willingness (Bottom Left)

• Person lacks both the skillset and the drive.

• Change is least likely here without a major shift.

• They may feel stuck, resistant, or disengaged.

2. Resistant: High Ability + Low Willingness (Bottom Right)

• Person has the knowledge or skills but isn’t motivated to act.

• They may be comfortable, complacent, or ambivalent.

• Risk: wasted potential.

3. Learning: Low Ability + High Willingness (Top Left)

• Person wants to change but doesn’t yet know how.

• High energy, low skill — effort can be misdirected without guidance.

• With training or support, they can make big strides.

4. Change: High Ability + High Willingness (Top Right)

• This is the sweet spot: capable and motivated.

• Most likely to create lasting change.

• They can self-direct, adapt, and sustain progress.